i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
