i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
