Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
