i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
