Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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