Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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