I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
