you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
