So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
