I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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