Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
