You're completely useless in the revolution.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
