Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
