North Korea, Best Korea!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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