And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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