I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
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