So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We had to coat check the pizza.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize