She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
