i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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