no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize