Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
