Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
