Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
