Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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