I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
