I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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