found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
