You work out of a Hotel?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
