Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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