i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
