"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
