I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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