would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
