He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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