I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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