Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize