covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
