Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
