I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
