Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
