So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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