If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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