He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
