I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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