u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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