I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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