I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
