Hey man sorry I got all grabby
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
