omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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