That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
