There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
