Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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