I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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