First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i love accidental penises.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
