At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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