Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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