Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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