He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
