that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
