I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
