Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
