Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
