I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
