ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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