So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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