Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
