dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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