four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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