I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
