i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
