Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Randomize
