I looked at my own cervix.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
