drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
