I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
