Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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