but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
