420 ftw
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
