he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
