I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
