the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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