If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
