There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
