he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
