even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
